How Parents Cope with ADHD Children

What is it like being a parent of a child with ADHD or similar learning difficulties? If you are reading this then you probably already know but this interesting paper What Do Parents of Children with Learning Disabilities, ADHD, and Related Disorders Deal With? looka at the issue from an academic angle. It covers the problems in identifying learning difficulties, the emotional cost for parents in facing the fact their child has problems, the ongoing day-to-day stresses and presents possible strategies for parenting.

It is often confusing to parent children with learning disabilities, ADHD, and related disorders. One of the biggest confusions and challenges parents face is the large hiatus between what the children can do and what they cannot do. Often they are very smart, know a great deal, and reason well, yet cannot read or write. School teachers and family may be telling them to try harder, and they are usually trying their hearts out. They tend to work 10 times harder than everyone else does, but still they may be called lazy.
Another aspect of the confusion for parents lies in how hard it can be to distinguish between a child who can’t do something and a child who won’t do something. For parents, it can be vexing not to be able to control a 5 or 6-year-old or to know whether to push an adolescent or reduce expectations. In this confusion, parents tend to ask, What is wrong with me? rather than What challenges is my child having to face?[emphasis added] Shifting this focus can be therapeutic for parents and children

See also: Parenting and ADHD

24 Comments

  • JEANTTE says:

    Halo.My 9jr old is a ADHD kid. He almost failed gr2 becoz of attention deficit.He is on ritolin but doctor is going to put him on ritolin la. I can see a inprovement.I just learn on the Lord and know he will help me threw this.I know hoe a mothers heart feel. You just wanna cry and dont whant to stop. Just loocked up and say Lord dry my tears and help me and my child.

  • Cindy says:

    Hi, I am the mother of a 8 year old boy. The school seems to think my son is ADHD-I. Which I believe differs from regular ADHD. My son is smart, and he is NOT hyper or destructive like am reading here. My son has trouble focusing and staying on task. Does anyone know about ADHD-I??

  • mary says:

    Hi im a single mum of 2.. my daughter is 12 and i was told she had ADHA at the age of 5! we have tryed all the meds going 4 ADHD BUT sadly nothing has worked and i have been on all the parents courses that has been afford 2 me..well it has been so hard 4 me 2 cope wiv her now she is 12 it has GOT worse her behaver is so out of control her swearing is the wrost i have ever heard..she also hits out at myself or her younger brother,luckly he dose not have adhd and is very good But is now starting 2 copy his sister wiv rude words!!.i cant take her out 2 nice places as i worrie wot she will come out wiv and she will swear anywhere..i have asked social services 4 help but have not had any luck wiv them..so i really dont knw wot 2 do next as it has made me very ill over the yrs and now i feel i just dont want her in the same house as me.. i cry alot as i have always wanted a loveing relaionship wiv her but she just is not wanting 2 try! she is my only daughter all i wanted was 4 us 2 b a good mum n daughter n do mum n daughter stuff…

  • Colleen says:

    Natalia, I have read your comment and you are now 17. I don’t want to use med’s today he goes to school with a patch. This rip’s me appart. How can I help him with out med’s? I have a son that is 12 and has adhd also with a problem of ritten expression, and could cry when he does not come to me for help (school help), I have to stand over him all the time. I don’t want to do this. He does not right his homework down, test, project and so on. Please help me help him. Or anyone…

What are your personal experiences with ADD / ADHD, autism or dyslexia?